It has been 3 months

CA 125 - 6.1

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.  Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throwthem into the fire, and they are burned.  If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.  By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

It has been another 3 months of learning. This time round, I was confronted much with who I really am and the reality is alarmingly grim - I am really nothing and most of the time, I am devastated apart from what God has saved me from. Without Him, I really can do nothing. Without Him, I can only love others with my own strength and that doesn't take me too far because my impatience gets a better of me. Without Him, I can only fulfill my day's tasks and chores in anxiety because each completion is dependent on my finite ability of which I am more cognizant daily that it is much lacking. Without Him, I cannot find joy beyond things that exist apart from my realm of reasonableness and expectations. Oh my...I think I am only beginning to understand an iota of Paul's statement when he calls himself a chief of sinners. I am so alarmed but so awed at the exactness of God's word and the power of it. 

But praise God for the cleansing power of His Word. Verse 3 is often glossed over but Christ knows when He says to comfort and reassure me that I  am already clean because of His word. As the days of Bible Study continues with BSF and with my dear friends Chiao Chyi and Jan and my own reading, I testify with joy and thanksgiving and gratefulness that His Word purifies our wicked heart. What joy, what peace and what comfort! God's Word is exacting and His Words take on a new and refreshed meaning to me. I close this chapter with this familiar passage of which I am learning all over again.

 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul;

         The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;

 ⁸ The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;

         The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;

 ⁹ The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;

         The judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

 ¹⁰ More to be desired are they than gold,

         Yea, than much fine gold; 

         Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

 ¹¹ Moreover by them Your servant is warned,

         And in keeping them there is great reward. 

         

 ¹² Who can understand his errors?

         Cleanse me from secret faults.

 ¹³ Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;

         Let them not have dominion over me. 

         Then I shall be blameless, 

         And I shall be innocent of great transgression. 

         

 ¹⁴ Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

         Be acceptable in Your sight, 

         O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.