Chapter 11 - The Operation

4th Feb - At 8:30 am, Daniel and myself, my mother-in-law and father-in-law made our way KK for the operation. My mom and dad were to arrive later after putting Sarah in Daniel's auntie's charge. After the paperwork and pre-op preparations, we spent a large portion of our waiting time praying and reading psalms. Many were there to pray that day, Pastor, my sister, Sis Eileen, Auntie Maggie, Auntie Joy and Uncle Kwai Sang and my family.

As I proceeded to the ultrasound room, to the operating theatre, I literally felt so covered and protected in my Father's arms through the prayers of His people - there was no fear. Of course, there was sadness all round for everyone around me. Before being wheeled into the theatre, I spent some wonderful time with Daniel, remembering how the Lord has given us so much time together - from the time we started dating in 1992 to our present year in 2008. 16 years of a wonderful and godly companion. We ask God to give us more by His mercy. Daniel wrote me a love letter that day [haha... something that he has not done for a pretty long time] - filled with his love and God's words to accompany me in that operating theatre. I held it tightly in my hand and stuffed it under my pillow for fear that they would throw it away.

The next few hours during the operation was painless for me as I went under GA. But for my family and all those praying for me outside the theatre, it was a difficult time. The preliminary results of the operation - yolk sac tumor, a form of germ cell cancer. Below is the post operation email sent out by my hubby in verbatim.

Dearest Praying Friends,

You have all become very precious to us through this trial, and I hope the Lord will draw all of us closer to Him and to each other in the following weeks, months and years to come. Fellowship in the word and prayer as we have done and you all have done for us is heaven on earth that we have experienced. I earnestly yearn for this to carry on forever. Through these, God fills us with His love and His presence and we feed on His goodness.

Brethren, God has heard us and answered our prayers according to His will. As more unfolds, we hope to see the picture even more clearly and give Him great praise and glory. I long to see His answers to these prayers. For now, the prayings and seeking of God continues for us, and I ask you will continue to join us in doing so. From experience, I know that this takes effort from your busy schedules and can be exhausting, so please accept our deepest gratitude for your love to us. We love to share our lives with you and hope that you will be pleased to share in our joys and our sadness, our blessings and sometimes our adversity.

Here is a brief update of the situation:

The surgery went well and smooth as planned, with the Right ovarian cyst, tumor and fallopian tube removed clean and sucessfully by a kind and caring Prof. From what he could see, the tumor was well contained and there was no apparent disease elsewhere in the pelvis or abdominal cavity. The frozen section showed a cancerous cell type called- yolk sac tumor, a form of germ cell cancer. Because such a cell type is very responsive to chemotherapy and has good cure rates, that was all the surgery neccessary and it did not proceed to more removal of organs- for that I am extremely thankful to God. Joann remains well and is resting in the High Dependency ward for the next 2 days. We appreciate if visitors come perhaps on Thurs onwards (only if free!) Here is the medical situation for your understanding in prayers and supplications:

1) The next 48 hrs is critical for stabilisation of the womb and baby. ie risk of miscarriage is highest these 2 days.

2) The final histology will give us a sure picture of the stage and cell type of the cancer, so as to decide on what other treatment is needed. itll probably take 2-3 days

3) A decision has to be made regarding the type of chemotherapy to administer for optimal cure of disease, and care of baby

4) Chemotherapy if indicated (likely will be) should commence next week.

Spiritually, we know that God is the giver of life and works all things together for good. As we have handed over all these to Him, we ask that He will honour His name and preserve the lives of both His children. The permutations of possibilities can be baffling, but we pray the Great Physician will sort it out. Also, we pray the final histology will be favorable just as the frozen section was.

Further to these, I will just like to share with you that this cancer is very rare, and for it to occur with pregnancy is even rarer. Plus for it to occur in my wife who has had perfect health and no family history, and to the wife of a training oncologist makes it more than just a coincidence. And for this to happen to God's children who have given their lives to Him makes it clearly NOT a mistake. I do not know what God has planned, but this must be part of His plan for our lives, so we continue to present our heart's petitions to Him. Im sure some will have questions on how this thing arose etc and so on but honestly I think that it is beyond logical answer. Lets look to the Lord.

Brethren, pls uphold us before God in the days to come as these things unfold, that once again our trust would be upon Him first, rather than on facts and figures. Thank you all so much for bearing our burdens, and God willing, I really hope to be able to share our joys with you, as well as to bear your burdens if there are any in time to come just as you have for us.

Love in Christ, Daniel, Joann and Sarah (who is doing just fine)

Chapter Ten - The Prayer Meeting

3rd Feb - The night before the operation, we had a prayer meeting at our house. Church folks came to pray with and for us - Auntie Joy, Uncle Kwai Sang, Auntie Lai Moi, Auntie Annie, Uncle Simon and Auntie Esther, Irene and Kok Wing and Daniel's family and mine. It was with heavy hearts as we prayed, pleaded and cried out to the Lord - but the Lord brought much confidence and assurance to us all that night. The prayer meeting lasted till midnight and we all parted as I prepared to rest for the surgery the next day.

Chapter Nine - The Heavenly Reunion

As the events of 2008 unfolded, we all thought there would not be any reunion dinners because my operation was slated on the 4th Feb [the week of CNY celebrations]. But the Lord provided a heavenly reunion that was to last beyond all the festivities.

In my earlier entry, one of my long standing prayer was for my mommy to accept the Lord as her personal Saviour. My mommy has never rejected the Lord's teaching nor the church's ways for our lives. In fact, she was the one who planned that we attended a Christian kindergarten as well as brought us to Sunday school because she wanted us to learn the right and good ways of being a person. For that, I am very thankful. All these made a difference in my sister's and my life. However, these things that she did for us made no difference in her life as long as she did not give up her life, her thoughts, her ideas to God.

That Sunday, my sister and Henry, my brother-in-law decided to speak to my mother again. So as planned, after dinner and a time of prayer together, Daniel and I brought Sarah home so that my mother would not be distracted by her. That night, they shared the gospel with her. It wasn't easy for my mother to accept the Lord during this time of crisis - she felt in a way that she was cheating and taking advantage of God by coming to Him in a time of desperate need. This is really not new... I have heard of this reason used by many people. Many feel a need to get their life in order before coming to the Lord. But you know what, when people get their lives in order, they realize that they don't need God. But, it is precisely because our most desperate, helpless and needy plight that Christ came down to die on the cross for. He wants to save us 'Just As We Are'.

For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

Luke 19:10

I thank God that my mother saw that night that it was no longer about her - her perceptions, her ideas and what she thought about herself. But rather that salvation is all about the Lord and what He has done for us - to save us from the penalty of sin through His precious blood which He shed on the cross. The weather was interesting at the time my mother prayed the sinner's prayer with Henry - but I shall not elaborate to dramatize it more than needed.

When my sister called me and told me that my mother accepted the Lord - my emotions were really mixed. But they all manifested through tears of joy, mingled more with shame [in all honesty]. Joy for reasons plain and clear. Shame because while my mother's salvation was a matter of prayer - it was not desperate nor consistent in my life. That the Lord worked His wonderful gift of salvation that night inspite of me, made me realized that it was not about me nor anyone but simply that the Lord desires all to be saved. Imagine what years we could have saved and how many loved ones would have come to know Him if we fell at our knees everyday and plead with Him to save.

Ironically, I think the Lord taught me much that night then all the nights put together since I have learnt about my condition.