To able to experience firsthand who God is - is one of the hardest thing to do but the most blessed. We all know that 'God hears us' - but to believe 'God hears us' amidst the most difficult circumstances is a test of faith and the definition of faith itself. My definition of Faith = Faith is believing with all our hearts, knowing in our mind and living it out in our actions that God is who He said He is, regardless.
As we prayed for little Samuel last year, we prayed that he would be able to absorb all the good nutrients from the food I took but that God would shield this little boy from the effects of chemo. We needed to cling on to the theological truth that God delights to hear His children call out to Him and depend upon Him. Truly, the Lord has heard!
Before I was wheeled into the operating theatre, there were about 20 or more family and friends who have gathered outside to pray for me and with me during the operation. It was a tearful 'send off' - because after a long 7 months since Jan, we really didn't know what to expect after the surgery; What would happen to me? or What would Samuel turn out to be? I remembered an old lady in church whom I have grown to adore, came all the way to the hospital, though more than 70 years of age, just to hold my hand and wish me peace and tell me that she has been praying for me. My daddy in his simple way, held my shoulder and said, "You can do it", my sister in her usual emotional manner said through her tears, "I love you, Bee"... but when I saw my husband fighting back his tears as he gave me the final push through the sliding doors, my floodgates flew wide open. As the doors of the operating theatre closed and I was separated from everyone, nobody but a nurse knew that I sobbed like a baby. It wasn't a outburst of fear but rather a release of an immeasurable height of uncertainty that has been culminating throughout the months and brought to a climax that very moment. It was really between God and me now. Perhaps, mostly God because I laid on the operating table, helpless. It felt like the stage was set for God to demonstrate who He truly is. It was spectacular but so awesome that I really really couldn't bear it. Well, God brought comfort in an interesting way - the surgery assistants, anesthetist, nurses and surgeons were all very gentle and patient to me, perhaps, they read about my case and had great pity for me.
I believe we witnessed a demonstration of God's power, mercy, grace & love on 15th July to the praise and glory of our God! I was expecting a bald Samuel, just like his mommy - but he had a chock full of hair. His hearing was good, his blood counts were normal and he was such a beautiful tiny creation. Through my groggy eyes, I could see that God kept His promise to me:)
little Samuel, one day old.
Truly, Samuel = The Lord has Heard!
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