So much thoughts about 2008 as I enter 2009. I wake up sometimes still finding it all unbelievable. The thoughts of the recent past and future are truly overwhelming. I thank God for giving me 2009, another year, another 365 days - these are things that I can no longer take for granted. Indeed, my times are in his hands.
Along with my new lease of life comes renewed and refocussed priorities. With limitations of my physical body, my priorities are really simple and few - God, my spiritual and physical health and Family [and if He wills, people whom He brings along the way]. To my own embarrassment, it took me a long time to discover that the many things that I used to do are perhaps distractions, no matter how noble or righteous the cause. I am beginning to be more and more convinced that one does not and need not do too many things in one's lifetime. While over achievement is lauded as a prized trophy in the world's economy, in God's economy, it all may be futile if we are merely doing it to make good our existence or simply, to make sense of our existence [even if it is done in the name of God]. Having said that, please don't be mistaken. I believe a life for God is purposeful, deliberate and circumspect. And it may be real busy at times. I only ask the Lord to remind me of the purpose of my existence and and that my plans for the year, my timetable for the day and my thoughts for the moment would reflect this purpose and its priorities.
G O D: My Spiritual Health
And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’
This is the first commandment. Matt 12:30
As the deer pants for the water, so my heart pants for thee. Nothing so soothes a desperate soul like the reading of Psalms. This was the book that I turned to very often in 2008. As I pleaded and cried to God, the hope and comfort and confidence God's word gave me is truly beyond words. I hope to be able to treasure Psalm yet again in 2009.
Reflection upon myself reveals at times a stubborn heart - which in Proverbs is synonymous with a foolish man who refuses instruction. And Proverbs warns much about the fool. Well, that is enough to make the reading of Proverbs, my next priority. There are exactly 31 chapters. Take one chapter a day of the month, and we would have gone through Proverbs at least 12 times a year. In particular, my first study is to search the word 'fool' and to study a verse a day. There's much wisdom in learning the ways of the fool so as to avoid the ways of a fool. This learning is good for me personally as well as for me to teach my children. Of course, the second study is to search the word 'wise' and 'wisdom':)
Lastly, would be the reading of Isaiah together with Daniel - it has always seemed a rather formidable book to me. But because of the richness that I gleaned from chap 40 has inspired me to read the entire book. It was a unanimous decision with Daniel.
My Physical Health
Regular exercise is highly recommended for me. So, my treadmill workout takes place every morning from 8-8:45 am. So far, I am thankful that Sarah's wake times and breakfast at 8:30 - 9 am makes it all possible. Of course, there are days when she wakes up earlier:) Treadmill times are also good early morning times to talk to God or to meditate on songs in my hp.
For those who are wondering I do not need to take any form of medication for my cancer [not yet at the least]. But I need a healthy dose of vitamins, calcium, and some chinese medicine such as lingzhi to keep those free radicals in check. So, I need to be discipline in taking these after my meals.
My Family
There is only so much I can manage at this point in my life. So a large part of my life would be focussed on my family - to be the wife and mother as laid forth in Ephesians and Proverbs. To be a helpmate to my husband, to be a prayer warrior for my family, to be a mother who trains her children in the way of the Lord. I have learnt that the greatest help a wife can give to a husband is to simply submit. I have also learnt that the greatest love a mother can give is to pray on bended knees for her children. While all these sounds like what one should naturally do, it really isn't. That explains why God makes submission a commandment and reminds us that prayer is laborious. I do pray that the Lord would help me to be what He wants me to be.
At some point last year, I felt a great need to leave some godly heritage for my children in the event that I would not be physically with them. My blogging thus takes on more defined focus - to record what the Lord has done in our lives and the trials as well as blessings and answered prayers. I hope that this blog would proclaim God's Glory to our children's generation as well as to their children's generation to come. I also hope that the blog would give a more thorough insight to Sarah and Samuel as to who their parents really are. Perhaps Sarah and Samuel would one day look through this blog in the different phases of their lives and wonder what daddy and mommy would have done if they were in their shoes - it would just be as if Daddy and Mommy were physically with them. Having said that, I need to back up this blog just in case blogger crashes...haha, that would throw the world into an IT crisis. If and if only time and energy permits, Daniel and I are hoping to record [home-based, of course] a cd of our favorite hyms and spiritual songs for Sarah and Samuel through song and instrument. For that purpose, Daniel bought me a mean machine for my birthday last year. Well, I kinda feel like a child who was just given the keys to a convertible. I do hope I have time to learn how to use the mac - for blogging, for design, for photo editing and for voice recordings.
This priority brings to other part of my reading. I was initially stressed at so many books I wanted to read and things I wanted to learn about. But I realized how a simple organization solved the problem. All my books about child rearing and healthy nutrition have since moved to my bathroom shelf. These books will only be read during bathroom times:) That is to prevent me from investing too much time in reading these books but at the same time, to provide me with sufficient knowledge and awareness of how to care for princess Sarah and miracle Samuel. Extra in between time would be reading about & experimenting with photo editing and digital photography [I am glad I stay just one block away from the library].
As my husband always reminds me, "Ministry [Discipleship] is exchanging life for life." That is slowly becoming more a difficult truth to bear as life is so precious a commodity for me now. But verily verily, whoever would lose his soul for God's sake would gain it. Having said that, over the years, I am convinced that the most fruitful and meaningful times of ministry are accomplished over a simple cup of tea with individuals or small group. My prayer is that God would bring and schedule these appointments for us. I thank God that He has been doing it and for the past few weeks, we have spent wonderful times catching up with family, friends, colleagues, students and church friends.
Life is really the same but different. I thank God for removing obligations and distractions in my life that have so complicated things and for reminding me, that life in Christ is really quite simple.
14 But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in Your hand;
Psalm 31:14-15
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