In Remembrance of Our Gong Gong

Eulogy by Daniel on 11th November 9:30 am - Mr Seethor Fai, my ‘Gong Gong’

• THE LIFE

Gong Gong led a full hearty life. He enjoyed his food, his outings, his festive occasions, his family gatherings, his travels, his entertainment, his gadgets, his education and needless to say, his family members, everyone one of them, with a fathers heart. He demonstrated a (grand)father's love that was unconditional, that wasn't dependent on performance or what you did or did not do for him. He was genuinely concerned for every individual’s (children, grandchildren, in-laws) life and family, and was only concerned that life will be well for them. He didn’t want anyone left behind. He gave us a glimpse of the heart of our Heavenly Father. Matt 7:11 says ‘If you then, being evil (meaning of a sinful nature), know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!’ Gong Gong helps us to understand this verse better because he was a model Father/grandfather, who gave us a taste of what a blessed Father/Child relationship is like. Having understood such a relationship, we can then more easily entrust ourselves to God, who describes Himself as our Heavenly Father. Gong Gong must be in good hands now. This is a great comfort.

Most people think that having lived such a full and blessed life, it is ok to go, especially at age 81, but in all honesty, it really isnt as simple as that. It wasnt easy for him, it isnt easy for us. Do not underestimate death; it is rude, it is harsh, it is an intruder. 

• THE MEMORIES

Let us enjoy some memories of him, I'll share those which have left impressions on me and taught me some important lessons.

Gong Gong led a hard life; tough situation; he had no choice; he had overwork to provide for family; he came back late and hardly saw children. He sacrificed family time. It was painful, but he had no choice; He had to do it. He said as we were eating porridge at Goodwood Park on one occasion, ‘mei you ban fa, bu zuo bu xing’. Perhaps his Zest for life and his family in his later years comes from playing catch up (with all that he could not do before), and he didn't seem to get enough of it

One lesson I learnt from Gong Gong is that Life is real. Stakes are high, choices have to be made, the price has to be paid, consequences will be borne. We cannot cheat life with short term strategies; we have got to face them with humble submission. And Gong Gong did just that and We are so thankful that God allowed him so see fruits of his labors, and I believe more than compensated for the sacrifices he made. All of life is truly a blessing. Gong Gong lived a life of principle and conviction; Will I live a life of principle and conviction? What is my conviction? May God help us live lives of convictions worth living for.

The second lesson that I am reminded is that we stand on giant's shoulders; our opportunities are at the cost of someone else’s sacrifice. Our children's opportunities depend on our present building. I ask myself, what foundations am I building for my family?

Gong Gong treasured relationships and remembered details. He was not too proud to make the 1st move

He was willing to be vulnerable in his expressions of love as well as needs and desires. I believe he got his priorities right, especially remembering that he really was a traditional Cantonese man. He would always buy lanterns for the kids without fail; and every May day, he would treat his whole family to Macdonalds rain or shine, full or half attendance;  Advance festive email greetings and sharing of photographs.. sometimes with minimal acknowledgement.  Now we will miss those ‘childish’ emails and those special festivals.

I remember when my family was going through the crisis, we didn’t see much of him, but it wasn’t because he did not care. I am sure he was very concerned, and kept himself updated through my parents

- Periodically and systematically he would pass us a box of 'brand's essence, with a red packet written on it ‘God's blessings'. Even though at that time I did not have the mind to thank him, these well wishes still came. This was how he expressed his care from a distance, and this was how he professed his faith in God. He was a sensitive, sweet man, who knew his place, and was mindful of others, and expressed himself with simple but thoughtful gestures. 

It is a great privilege and blessing to experience this special relationship. The lesson I have learnt from his example is that we only have that many opportunities to love and enjoy relationships around us. Are we living in the present, and cherishing each opportunity, or are we presuming on the future?  We must also be willing to be humble and vulnerable like he was, if we cherish the relationships we have been blessed with. Gong Gong teaches us to receive God's blessings of relationships with gratefulness and humility

• THE DEATH

His journey to death has left an indelible mark on me. He knew his body was failing, but he didn't know it would be that fast. He repeated that he had no complains and no  regrets but he also acknowledged that ' no one wishes to die'. He suffered towards the end, but received suffering with dignity and humility. He accepted his lot. He treasured the comfort given to him through family, songs, scripture, and prayer. He enjoyed the ministry he received. He faced his mortality with silent courage and humility. He was neither triumphalistic, nor fatalistic. He assessed the situation and made decisions accordingly. 

But alas rationality, discipline and medicine could not prevent the inevitable. He was a great man, but great men need help, great men need love and great men still have to die. This I learnt for myself up close. He might have caught glimpses of the heavenly city and raved about its beauty in his last weeks. Yet he still loved his family and his present life. He affirmed his future hope and glory when questioned, yet he wasnt going to rush into heavenly glory. His experience teaches me the complexity of straddling between the physical world and the spiritual world. There is a sense of the reality of a future hope and glory, but we still approach it with trepidation because we haven’t been there before. I believe faith in God in this life and in death is simple but it is definitely not simplistic. We need to respect this fact, because I saw my GG grappling with it. That is also why the scripture takes great pains to comfort and assure believers of the reality of the risen Christ and the future hope. The strongest foundation for the Christian’s hope is the historical and certain reality of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. Because only if He did, he is able to raise all those who put their trust in Him for the forgiveness of sin. I urge you all to affirm this fact for yourselves, so that we may know the reality of Gong Gong’s resurrection, and ours too.

I don’t know if i can do better than he did being placed in the same situation. In his death, we had the privilege to observe closely and learn from his experience. May the lord grant us grace as he did to Gong Gong when our time comes. I hope I’ll be ready.

May we not underestimate death. May we all have a strong and sustainable hope of future glory. May God grant us faith and spiritual eyes to discern the heavenly kingdom. 

• CONCLUDING WORDS

When this funeral is all over, the reality of his absence will hit us. Right now, he remains in my mind, as the jovial Gong Gong as captured on this picture, so full of life and mind. It is difficult to fathom this separation, which will always remain a mystery to me, one moment here, one moment gone...But we are thankful for the precious memories and graces of God that were showered on Him, and our family; he will continue to live on in our hearts. These temporal joys and memories lay the foundation and hope for a brighter future when we all meet again.

The scripture uses pictures of earthly bliss to communicate heavenly realities to us. That heavenly reality refers to being in the presence of God, all of us, together If scripture is true, then things will only get better.

Thank you Gong Gong for the precious memories of our friendship. Thank you Jesus for being man's only hope. Thank you for coming to share our grief