The Lord brought us through 2 very successful operations with minimal disturbances to the foetus and with my optimistic prognosis of Stage 1A with clear cell cancer of the ovary, it did seem like this fiery trial was well over. But from a medical and default point of view, it was far from over. The full treatment includes chemotherapy as well. That was the scary one. Everything I know [which really was not much at all] about chemotherapy came from the portrayals in reel life. In real life, chemotherapy is seldom talked about. Many times, it is hushed up as patients we know go for their treatment in secret. So what I have in mind, is a form of aggressive treatment where patients come out weak, skinny and bald and of course, they were nauseous most of the time.
What increased our burden in this was that I was pregnant. While medical journals have records of how babies respond to chemotherapy, it is far and few. And many times, these studies are non conclusive due to the rarity of the situation. Some doctors would with no qualms suggest a termination of the pregnancy, followed by a total hysterectomy and chemotherapy thereafter. We were much thankful that in our case, Prof EH Tay had never once raised the option of terminating our pregnancy - that would have increased our dilemma although we knew what the Lord would definitely have us to do. Our pain was much reduced in this aspect. We were given the option to decide when to begin my chemo - a) To begin immediately in the midst pregnancy or b) To begin after delivery. Both options were fraught with much risks - risks for the baby for the former and risk for the mother for the latter. In all honesty, most patients are not given the option but all are strongly advise with option (a) due to the aggressive and unknown nature of this cancer. But as Daniel was a practicing oncologist, he was presented with the options due to professional respect.
Well, the next 2 weeks as we sought the Lord whether it was His will for us to go ahead with chemotheraphy would prove to be a difficult and painful 2 weeks - more for my husband than for me as he knew that as much as he would want to take on my burden, I would have to bear full weight of the consequences of whichever option it would be. But what was truly important to us as we sought the Lord was not the medical logic of the options presented to us. That really didn't matter anymore. We were greatly concern that we would walk the path that the Lord had meant for us to walk. We were walking on tenderhooks - and the only safe route was the one that the Lord revealed for us.
It was truly difficult. Many people who were praying for us and loved us didn't want me to go for chemotherapy. Naturally so...Dan and I were also praying that the Lord would reveal in that same direction. But only the Lord's revealed path could give us the confidence to walk the journey ahead. It was interesting how the Lord spoke to us during these 2 weeks as would be revealed in the next chapter.
"Uphold my steps in Your paths, That my footsteps may not slip. I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, and hear my speech. Show Your marvelous lovingkindness by Your right hand, O You who save those who trust in You From those who rise up against them. " Psalm 17:5-7
