A Narrative on Love

Waves of memories lapped gently onto the shores of Sarah's mind as she stared at the lovely beachtown for the very last time. It was here where her first cries broke the stillness of the night; it was here where her tiny palms and delicate knees first met the sand; it was here where her tiny feet ambled and walked and ran and galloped and strode. All of her world has been till now - beautiful blue skies and endless ocean. Gripping tightly to her pink suitcase, Sarah tries desperately to capture the ole and familiar scene in her mind, albeit through a veil of watery mist. She hates to leave but she has to leave. The tides since 10 years ago has changed dramatically and it warns of an impending calamity. Some have already left silently without bidding goodbye. 

As she looked out again into the expansive horizon for the final time, she noticed that something was amiss. The shore! It was never this huge before. And the fishes! Trouts which have always enjoyed a game of hide and seek with her father's fishing rods were flapping openly and gleaming dangerously along the shore. Glancing at the women, men, children and babies stretched across the beach, Sarah realized that it may all be too late. She threw her suitcase onto the sand, raced frantically across the beach and hollered at the top of her voice, 'Run everyone, run!' Gasping for breath, she cried, 'Tsunami!'

The beach goers sat up at the sound of the desperate cry that shrilled through the cool and calm air. But when they caught sight of the girl they knew from young, their startled faces broke into chuckles of relief and they returned to their sandcastles, their beach chairs and their picnic baskets. Even so, Sarah wouldn't stop her run - she couldn't. These were the people she knew and loved since young. It didn't matter if they thought she was a ranting lunatic. Her love for them compels her to act apart from herself. Her pleads of warning were greeted by expressions of amusement, bafflement and anger as well as hollers of 'Go home' and ' Stop disturbing the peace here'.

Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, Sarah caught sight of her best friend Cherrel basking in the sun. Without thinking, Sarah ran towards her best friend and grabbed Cherrel by her hands and started dragging Cherrel away from the shore and up the hill. 

'What in the world is....,' yelled Cherrel as she struggled to get up on her two feet, 'Let go now!' Cherrel tried to flay her arms wildly to loosen Sarah's grip. But as if with renewed strength, Sarah gritted her teeth, tightened her grip and continued doggedly to pull Cherrel up the hill. This was the very hill which they had in their childhood race up in their flippers and slid down on their cardboard inspired sledges. But today, the way up the hill was the most treacherous and painful the two had ever experienced. 

Finally, Sarah caught sight of the light coming through the trees and she collapsed in sheer exhaustion. Both of them laid on top of the hill disheveled, wounded and bruised. Through tears of anger and confusion, Cherrel glared at Sarah, her best friend of 30 years and tried to make sense of her apparently barbaric, rude, hurtful and absolutely unloving actions. It was then, that her thoughts were abruptly interrupted by an angry thunderous roar. And when she saw the unforgiving waters greedily devour the beach and her home, Cherrel finally understood - Sarah's love had saved her life.

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:12-13

Special Moments: Little Sarah & Great Grandpa

Little Sarah Goes Swimming

Little Sarah Goes Fishing

Little Sarah Goes to the Library

Samuel Turns 3 Months!

Samuel Slideshow

Our Beloved Firstborn

Sarah has and will always have a special place in Daniel and my heart. Firstborns are really special. Though she is getting louder by the days and of course, smarter, as well as learning how to throw a tantrum - Sarah is a kind hearted girl who loves to be bullied by her "Shu Shus". By the way, she can say "ball" now [much to Daddy and Mommy's sheer delight]. Haha...and everything is a "ball" to her. Well, to all who are missing her because of mommy's procrastination, the following entries are devoted to Sarah's adventures:) We thank God for His blessings through our lovely Sarah.

Chapter 14: Chemo or No Chemo

The Lord brought us through 2 very successful operations with minimal disturbances to the foetus and with my optimistic prognosis of Stage 1A with clear cell cancer of the ovary, it did seem like this fiery trial was well over. But from a medical and default point of view, it was far from over. The full treatment includes chemotherapy as well. That was the scary one. Everything I know [which really was not much at all] about chemotherapy came from the portrayals in reel life. In real life, chemotherapy is seldom talked about. Many times, it is hushed up as patients we know go for their treatment in secret. So what I have in mind, is a form of aggressive treatment where patients come out weak, skinny and bald and of course, they were nauseous most of the time.

What increased our burden in this was that I was pregnant. While medical journals have records of how babies respond to chemotherapy, it is far and few. And many times, these studies are non conclusive due to the rarity of the situation. Some doctors would with no qualms suggest a termination of the pregnancy, followed by a total hysterectomy and chemotherapy thereafter. We were much thankful that in our case, Prof EH Tay had never once raised the option of terminating our pregnancy - that would have increased our dilemma although we knew what the Lord would definitely have us to do. Our pain was much reduced in this aspect. We were given the option to decide when to begin my chemo - a) To begin immediately in the midst pregnancy or b) To begin after delivery. Both options were fraught with much risks - risks for the baby for the former and risk for the mother for the latter. In all honesty, most patients are not given the option but all are strongly advise with option (a) due to the aggressive and unknown nature of this cancer. But as Daniel was a practicing oncologist, he was presented with the options due to professional respect.

Well, the next 2 weeks as we sought the Lord whether it was His will for us to go ahead with chemotheraphy would prove to be a difficult and painful 2 weeks - more for my husband than for me as he knew that as much as he would want to take on my burden, I would have to bear full weight of the consequences of whichever option it would be. But what was truly important to us as we sought the Lord was not the medical logic of the options presented to us. That really didn't matter anymore. We were greatly concern that we would walk the path that the Lord had meant for us to walk. We were walking on tenderhooks - and the only safe route was the one that the Lord revealed for us.

It was truly difficult. Many people who were praying for us and loved us didn't want me to go for chemotherapy. Naturally so...Dan and I were also praying that the Lord would reveal in that same direction. But only the Lord's revealed path could give us the confidence to walk the journey ahead. It was interesting how the Lord spoke to us during these 2 weeks as would be revealed in the next chapter.

"Uphold my steps in Your paths, That my footsteps may not slip. I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, and hear my speech. Show Your marvelous lovingkindness by Your right hand, O You who save those who trust in You From those who rise up against them. " Psalm 17:5-7

Chapter 13: Hearing & Obeying the Voice of God

This chapter is a necessary prelude to the next chapters - or more aptly in our lives to come. Hearing the voice of the Lord has truly been a precious and personal experience to me and my husband during this journey of faith and trust in our Great God. I am not referring here to visions or a voice that booms out from clouds - but it is the clear speaking of the Lord to our hearts as we search His Word and plead desperately to Him to reveal His will in our situation. The more we read His revealed word and depend and cast all our dependence onto Him, the clearer we hear His voice. The Holy Spirit quickens His Word and they take on a real and practical meaning in our lives. It was truly untaught lessons of practical FAITH.

It has indeed been a great comfort that I cannot describe. Is it because of our holiness that God speaks? Perhaps to the prophets and men of old - but in my situation, I think God chose to speak to me clearly because it was His way of showing me His abundant grace and mercy in time of need. To hear His voice at each hurdle of this journey was so vital to us because each decision had a huge stake attached to it - life itself. We couldn't make u-turns here.

After hearing the voice of God, the next step was to take those steps of faith, OBEY & FOLLOW along the path that God has paved for us. What a journey it has been...we could have only done it with the Lord on our side. And we only ask Him to give us the strength and courage to continue along His ordained path.